If it was just a parasite…This is how it’d go…A parasite made its shitty little way down my gut and set up camp for a few weeks multiplying itself, having a couple of raves and pissing around being a general dick-head…probably played some heinous goan trance whilst wearing illuminous short shorts, dancing like a tit and adorning a whistle round his neck. He was getting well over excited with his pals then when the party was over he decided to slowly make his way down my gut causing ulcers and cuts wherever he damn well pleased. My white blood cell security guards stepped in pretty well though and charged in in their thousands to break up the violent outbursts that usually accompanies a brutal comedown. They’ve been absolute legends and basically saved my life. They will be rewarded with a serious bonus in the form of ginseng tea, oak milk and a general temple upgrade.
But then again, it’s not so it’s all just in my imagination.